What does it take to have a happy relationship?
In the US there are about 2.4 million marriages a year and about 1.2 million divorces a year. Those are some pretty sucky statistics! I have been in a bad marriage and got a divorce, so I certainly agree that if you are in a toxic relationship and you are dying together instead of growing together that it is probably better to get out. But today I wanted to focus on the positive side of marriages, the other 50%, you know, the ones that make it.
I am certainly not a marriage counselor, not do I want to be one! But I do now have a marriage that definitely works and exceeds a lot of people’s marriages that I see. My husband and I have been together for 26 years and we have NEVER even had an argument. Was it easy the whole 26 years? No, but we have ways to deal with it and make it work.
Here are 3 of the things that we do to make our marriage thrive and grow:
- Don’t try to change each other. You cannot change anyone but yourself. Period. There is no way to change that. You cannot fix anyone. You can motivate and inspire, but you cannot fix. It will just frustrate you.
- Be the person. You have to work on you. I see people who make up lists of what they want their significant other to be/have. Then they set out to find that person. That will never Look at your list – would the person who fits that description want to be with you? You must become the person that you need to be to attract the type of person that you want.
- Change your perspective on every issue. See the other persons point of view before you criticize. It’s ok to be different. And you can always agree to disagree. Live peacefully.
These are just a few of the things that we do. There will be more to come in future posts.
Live your dreams. It is possible.